Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I dont know if i would ever live my dream.. I was overwhelmed with sadness today when i realised that i might never get anywhere if i were to stay in AF. I teared a little, i would have cried if there wasnt anyone around.

I went down all excited curious about my OJT. Things didnt look good when i asked FWO. He threw a stack of notes wanting me to convert those CMC stuff to powerpoint slides. I was ok doing it, at first i had hopes of him putting me as controller or tools room . Now, i can just see myself helping them to convert notes for the meanwhile. It is very sad.

I always believe one should live their dream. Even now, i still believe one should live their dream. I was touched, really touched when i read that blog of that couple who lived their dreams and went on a around the world trip on their motorbikes. The human spirit never dies. I like the song from Prince of Egypt : When you believe. The verse which touched me most was "Though hope is frail,it's hard to kill."

I have been feeling very lonely for sometime. I dont think i have found the miss right yet. Perhaps she would just be the one. Things are not going smooth for i feel inferior to her. I was trained since bth times to be confident but deep down, i hope high hopes but feel very very very inferior. Degree/family's prolly above average/life's always been great for her. Ugh, that sort of thing goes through my mine.

2 weeks later will be the day . I am excited , but also very worried . I am afraid of being played and hurt because from what i am going through, it seems like i am gonna put quite alot of effort and hopes on her. May god bless me.














Sad sad benjamin ):


Posted by dear benji at 1:02 AM