Friday, September 29, 2006

i dun feel too good. i had a bad sleep 2days ago, and a pounding headache was the results. After which it became earthquak headache , which was today. It was on the rector scale of 8.5. ARgh.. I had to take drugs to make it better, drugs as in panadol .

i'm training my left hand , so than i can hold my bow better. I've been putting a sand bag ard it and doing my usually stuff. it's tough because it's kinda bulky.

My hands having been itching to place bets on soccer, but i am refraining. i dun wan to end up losing like the previous world cup . Ugh, it was heartache. sometimes, when i predict a match and it comes out true, i feel the pain. Its the same as losing money during world cup.

Maybe i'll bet a small amount =p
ahh,, i'll curb that addiction. NO, not at addiction, but a habit. I'm trying to make it sound nicer. LOL.

Posted by dear benji at 2:10 AM

good grief!!!

i won a scoccer bet today, won $ 440. =) Than i went to isetan for their private sale, not by myself of course. haha, with shuyi and alexis. let me see, what did i buy. we spent $254 in total . ok, let me rant bout what i bought.

Polo RL (alexis's not mine)
2 pants for archery wear, has more pockets =p
2boxes of hush puppies briefs , woof woof.. my underwears barking at you.. hush....hush..
1 nike portugal shirt , okok, i know world cup's over. but still i love portugal.
2 collar tshirts for sch use .
2 pillow cases
for single bed ; bed sheets same design as pillow cases.

Thats all =) haha, i had a good time shopping. i had what women call retail theraphy. hmm, well, a nicer way of saying, rather than shopping.

Posted by dear benji at 1:45 AM

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

LUMINES- jackie's favorite game, ugh

i just hate it when someone comes and tell me techno's for ah bengs. This just pisses me off. geez.. people have different likes.. and for me i like techno alot. so just buzz off.

I got a new game for only $15, gheesh.. such a good grab from a second hand store, and it's been keeping me alive. haha, it's not as though i am a gaming addict but this games really rocks. "Lumines" that's the name of the game , and what you do is that you put them in blocks and it's like the brick game kind of thing, just that this has a twist and it is more interative.

enough of me on games.. i'm going back to watching jim carrey-(the man with a million faces); Fun with Dick and Jane.

Posted by dear benji at 12:42 PM

Friday, September 22, 2006

these are the two items that i got from the bleach fan store. the hat cost 14.40 , and the deathgod cert cost 16.60 . Both prices are after 10% discount..

Posted by dear benji at 2:19 PM

what a drag

before i do anything, i've gotta confess here. i slept at 5am yesterday and woke up at 1pm. ugh, it feels great to sleep late =) and wake up late!!! what a sin.. geez. I stayed up late watching DVDs that Alvin loaned to me. That bugger works at a DVD rental shop, and he takes home bout 4dvds each time and start doing his pirated job. hahaha, he copies them and lend his good friends. what a nice guy isn't he? i can save on my dvd rentals, EACH movie cost $5. Can you imagine how much money ppl can spent on movies alone?

for those ppl out there who's finding holidays boring, here's a good book that i can recommand. "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield, this is a damn good book. bestseller for a long time. it has a continuing book tittled"The Tenth Insight".

if you guys still find it boring that i suggest you can try out archery on saturday weekends at chij bukit timah, but of course for this you have to pay bout $20. still this is worth doing, rather that some couch potatoes watching tv, or some internet addicts that does nothing but surf surf and surf.. lol, duh.. get a life..

Posted by dear benji at 1:33 PM

to: J

hi ,

this is in reply for you blog. Though you never said you wanted any reply to it. i felt a strong need to express how i feel abt you and your ideas , wait not your ideas, but your perception of life.

you feel empty and that core.. that core feels empty, it has constantly to be filled by "love, friends, events, god" c'mon, you're so busy to even sit down and think for a moment ; intergrate how you're really feeling. I find a common trend in you and your words. "God, love", makes up your most-used-words. Ever thought why you're doing that? ever thought why?

we were close during sec 2,3 and ending of sec 3, we weren't as close as before, till even now. you ever thought why? i made a choice to not be so close, because i dun wanna get hurt dude. you call and i have to be there for you, and when i call you were there, but not the kind of help i want to get. i feel that you're a bit too emo and i dun wanna be there for you whenever you're in that state. i feel used. yeah, used.. it suz, at first i thought "woah, shes calling me and pouring out the problems ; hows shes feeling" i felt honoured, because i like you. i thought that being there for you may helped in "bonding" between us.. connection perhaps. but NO. . . i'm not a counselor that'll be there for you. i'm not trained. i'm not saying you can't pour you feelings onto me , i can help you hold your feelings but after awhile if it keeps on happening, everytime you have a problem you talk to me or lets put it in this way. You contact me only when you have a problem, i mean what is that. What type of relationship is that.... i can hold some of your feelings but only up to a certain limit. and there i was, i just snapped. You might not feel anything wrong because i never fucking told you that i like you. THAT WAS MY BIGGEST MISTAKE. 4 years now, erm... nope we're friends for opps, yar 4yrs and i still feel "USED". you get me... i hope i'm clear , "I FEEL USED".

Now, after a long time of shallow contact, you suddenly sms me and say hey.. we shld meet up someday. i am like boy, what happened? i felt as though it was christmas but also i feel absurd. Absurd because after such a long time you didn't keep in close contact and all of a sudden you just popped out like that. poof!! you might not know, but you keep friends according to your needs and i dun want that. i'm not someone who you could used. Now, at this point , i am feeling fucked up, so i may say nasty stuff that may be offensive to you. just caution a little there.

i feel you're a flirt. you dun know what the fuck you want. you just want things. how many guys have passed your life and how many of them have you treated them nothing but instruments? you come up with things like , "oh, thank you so much for being there for me" , "i dunno what to do without you". well, i know you did that to me, i hope you remember. you need to grab life by it's balls and know what you want, who you like, start taking care on those words you use; you may lead a guy astray there.

you always said you love your friends and you love god. i am starting to think if it is really literally that case. Or is it just another of your body mechanisim trying to cope with that "EMPTYNESS?". Let me tell you that everyone in each point of there lives do feel empty, you're not the only one. stop lying to yourself and everyone. start being a little concious. start by knowing what you want.

i know all these stuff are none of my business but i can't help but to comment. it's your life and you handle it, you take the driving seat and steer it whatever or however you what to. i like you still and lets just see how things go.

i know that i shld have told you face to face bout this but sorry, i can't bring myself to say this in front of you. i'm a fucking coward. i had to do this behind a screen. If chance brings you to this entry of mine than good. if it does not reach to you than ugh, it's ok still. At least i manage to vent some frustration out and i feel better.

Let's give each other a chance.. dun kill it. if you read this, tag? ok.. so that i know.

Posted by dear benji at 1:44 AM

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

archery-celebrating september babies =)

haha, ok. the celebration went on well, we had alot of fun. gezz.. this is our grp photos, those ppl who wants to have the pictures for this event or for any other event, pls spam on my taggy or call me at 9*****55. i'd send it over to you. .

Posted by dear benji at 9:50 PM

check out the books

it's been ages since i've last stepped in to the national lib. Well, jurong east lib has evolved from a small, quiet and insignificant one to now a popular, large and happening lib.. The lib are filled with school gals everywhere i turn. =)

i picked up two books from the lib, both are "complete idiot's guide", (that does not mean i'm an idiot). geez.. well , one tittled- Wine; the other- Gambling like a pro.

I was reading through the "gambling like a pro" and i realised the beauty of probability and also the beauty of winning big bucks in a short period of time. They teach how to gamble slots(the one where you put coins in-common name; jackpot), Roulette (32 numbers and they spin the table after which a ball is released, and you see if it hits your number), Baccarat(high class ppl plays them), blackjack(you guys should be familer with it aka 21 points), shooting craps(i dunno arh, haven't read yet), horse racing, sports betting, poker, keno, lotteries, bingo.

i'll spend a few days on these books , this will keep me from getting the over-bordom sickness that is currently an issue among ngee ann students.

i've been going out everyday and i dun feel that i am getting what i want. i want to fill up that emptyness. it feels the same as before for a moment but i think it is somewhat different. that's it i'm gonna discuss it with audrey tml at 3.30pm.

Posted by dear benji at 8:34 PM

ahh.. the satisfaction

well, training with her wasn't a excatly an easy task to do. It probably wasn't easy in the first place since she is 38. argh, treat it as a tough nut to crack. I'm full of confidence that one day she'll work in sync hand in hand to win something big =) i'm looking forward to it!!

i had to click her before releasing, and geez.. it wasn't easy in the beginning, but to the later part did i realise that i could acutally pull her a bit futher using my other fingers rather than the index. She sounded pleasant to the ear.. ahhh.. that kind of sound pleases me.. geez.

The shaft was a bit stiff when i shot, than it became a bit weak after that a bit stiff.. i concluded that it must be the work of the magnetic field in the earth . Boy, i must be the dumbness guy in the world.. how can i forget, she's not yet tuned to the shaft. After awhile it when pretty smooth, grouping was tight =) that's when i'm starting to enjoy it.. (wink)

My fingers were all swollen and my back aching at the end of the day after the excessive work out. But nevertheless, the feeling of satisfaction overwhelms the pain and weakness of the muscles. After all those attitude she gave while i was pulling her,i was good enough to give her a good clean up with my favorite coloured towel-red. She looks and feels great even while not being in her full kit. I was thinking and telling myself that i've got a good catch there; praise the lord!!

I'll work hard together with her from here on .

Posted by dear benji at 2:16 AM

Friday, September 15, 2006

This is for my PSP fans out there, and for ppl who's thinking whether to buy, go get em now!!! okok, i admit, i'm showing off my PSP =p righto!!

Posted by dear benji at 9:04 PM

As i read the words, i knew it was directed to me but yet another part of me wants to escape reality and deny. I'm now taking things a bit slow as i type these down. I felt my heart throb as i read the words, "i think i'm asking for trouble.. OMG". Things didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be, but i guess thats a lesson for me. Don't talk unless you're supposed to, Don't ask unless a need to. Now've i've gotta do some damage control.

and and boy broke up, i didn't expect it to turn out that way, i always thought they were on close terms and things were going well. Anyway, they want to keep stuff between themselves and i respect that. Relationships don't always go the way they want it to go..

My heart still feels a bit heavy, worried i guess. I didn't expect her to get so pissed with me asking, the simple thing to do was to just say i dun wanna tell. My feelings are getting hold of me, time for me to get hold of my feelings, same way i felt when i had the tranference with mum. i think yesterday was the last straw =(

look, i didn't expect things to turn out this way. i am just curious and started askin a little more. little did i expect it will spark off irritation .
I'll try to make things right..

Posted by dear benji at 2:18 PM

My GPA -2.53

wah, how can this happen to me. well, we reap what we sow. My GPA -2.53 , it sux big time. I'll really think hard as to what i want. I can't bring myself to tell Audrey that i scored that, she'll skin me alive. Argh! I will have to buck up then, less computer games and more studies. Also i have to make a balance between archery and studies..

With 2.53 for my GPA, i've got to think hard as to whether i want to still join the life saving club, this means if i were to take that up, i have to go for trainings on mondays and wednesdays. And tuesdays and thursdays i have archery training. Which leaves me only friday to have time. dude, i am so not in tune with time. argh.. i am feeling frustrated after what happened last night and this morning this news of GPA 2.5 had to break upon my face. geez...

Posted by dear benji at 1:52 PM

jesus! i need exclusive help from you!

geez..... argh, jesus, pls help me. i think i got myself into serious shit. Never had i experince this before. i think i am trying too hard, but on the other hand i feel that i'm going on slow already .. dude, no offensive but i think you've gotta start helping me.. how can this be, i'm getting into bad books.... Now, i've really got butterfiles in my stomach.

Posted by dear benji at 12:33 AM

Thursday, September 14, 2006

My PSP!!!

hey. geez.. guess what guys, i finally got my new psp. woah, it was worth the wait and the juice was worth the squeeze =) i manage to bargain it to $570. Here's how it goes- PSP version2.6 = $320; 2GB memory stick=$160; Metal Gear Acid2= $65.

My psp is white in colour, and i am considering to get a casing for it, a logitech one perhaps.
Here's what a PSP might do for you:

Play PSP games
Play GB games(old)
Play GBA games(new)
Watch live channels like channel5,channalU etc..
Listen to your favourite songs
Watch mp4 format vidoes
Look at your pictures that you've taken with your Archery mates =p
Surf the net, i mean it has Wi-Fi ;can surf net =p

that's the 8 things you can do with your PSP, but there are more features coming up. like taking a picture with your PSP, it's coming up soon. But the camera is 1.3mega-pix only.. i'd rather use my 6mega-pix digital camera and put it inside my PSP to view.

Posted by dear benji at 10:58 PM

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

hunting for psp and ipod

yesterday, i went to meet biling and one of her good friend; jasmine.. hahaha, we went to bugis to look for psp and ipod. To be specific, we went to the all famous Sim Lim Square. It was a bit awakward to have two gals following me to the store to ask for the price of ipods and psp, so i asked them to leave for OG while the MAN do his shopping =)

The people there were very unfriendly, wah kao.. i asked them how much the price of psp and ipod they just quote according without looking me in the eye. And they were fucking unfriendly, i asked a few questions and they went uh... uh.. uh... yes.. no... uh... what the fuck were they trying to prove.. i have spending power and i am a customer.. geez, someone teach them to S.M.I.L.E.. i hope ppl coming for the IMF won't have to meet these ppl. it'll be of total embrassment if they have the same attitude towards them.

After that, biling met up with me again, this round we went to the cold storage. haha, she was busy packing up the products, (trying to show off her shop N save skills).. She asked me to help her buy erm.. cola drink, which is alcohol. i tried a bit.. not nice lar, taste like medicine.. eeee.. haha. after which we went home.. but i enjoyed that day out =) because............................ heh...

Posted by dear benji at 1:18 PM

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Yesterday's competition-TANG competition

Yesterday's competition was great, i broke my personal best on the 30m 122 face. 312!! I know i can do better than that, i hope there will be more of these competitions coming up. I find that i have a serious problem. It has got to do with my mental. argh, i can't grip the string and aim at the bull's eye when i am in competition. i can do that perfectly well in trainings, like pulling the string and holding it there for a wile; aim, before releasing the string. geez, it has become a stage where when i see yellow, i release. I need help!! someone help me?? i realise that with a clicker it might help curb the problem, but you see; a clicker cost $12 and to drill a hole in my wooden bow cost $5 and on top of that i have yet to cut my arrows to my draw length,so $1 for each arrow. This means $12+$5+$12= $29, wah!! so expensive leh!! haiz, i think i might as well buy Xpert and challanger limbs and start shooting with that first. =) the cutting of arrows,i can ask jaffar to help me.

Too bad, biling and guys went to catch a movie!! MONSTER HOUSE!!! i wanna watch it with them too, but it clashes with my competition event. Nvm lar, i think i will give monster house a go. =( well, another show i wanna watch was "The Host", the main actress was using a white recurve bow; Win&Win Xpert. And i heard from jerryboy that they throw the bow around like nobody's business and pick it up to shoot again.. i know , i know Ouch.. $2000 bow thrown around like that..

I went to the WORLD FOOD FAIR the other day at expo and wah, they have very good food there! yummy, but i dun have money to eat all the nice stuff. i bought aust's sweets; yes!! NOUGOTS!!(i am not so sure whether it is spelled that way) wah, very nice man, 3packet for $10. I left it on the table when i got home and wah.. everything was gone. it was like magic!! haha, my sisters ate them all!! i feel sorry, i wanted to bake muffins with my sisters the other day but i dun have time,in the end they tried themselves but it did not turn out well. haha, soo cute!! Than they were looking forward to bake cookies yesterday, due to the competition, i didn't have time again. i will bake cookies today =) i love baking cookies with my sisters around.. hah!! I LOVE THEM, i never said it to them; but here i am writing on my journel. hmm, haiyo..

Posted by dear benji at 2:33 PM

bday celebration

woah, bday celebration for sept was great.. of course it should be great.. it's my bday afterall =) geez, we had secret recipe cake"black forest" , wah!!! it tasted heavenly.. We're celebrating Andrea, Morgan, Rasmi and not to forget; MY bday!!!! hahaha.

I feel gathering like this should be made as often as possible, it helps to gel the team together.. But it was a waste that jay and han wei didn't come.. aiyo.. i was hoping both of them comes, it was still enjoyable with them not being able to make it, of course it is better if ALL can make it.. haha, hanwei can really turn situations.. joker sia.. =) and Jay, can really be er.. "stupid.." hehe, i hope he dun read his. i just feel that he is somehow not the same wave length as captain and vice president. Not being in the same wave length sometimes can cause "disruption" in the organisation itself. well, we'll see bout that as time goes.. Biling was there too, argh.. lucky rasmi came if not she won't want to come too.. only her alone. it was funny to see how ppol eat cakes. some just gobble it up like as though they haven't eaten for a long time. others nibble it as though ppl are watching them.. haha, NO. nothing wrong with it, just that it is interesting observing each individuals' actions. Andrea and jerryboy was there too.. wah, lots of fun man.. i "GAYED" with him, and he looked so uncomfortable.. hahaha. geez..

I bought long island, hehe, was excerising my 18th year old rights. Wah, i will never buy that drink again.. it sux, eeee.. tasted like medicine more than a drink.. i would have liked something sweet.. Anyone can recomand me some?? I passed the drink ard for all to drink.. hehe. That includes the girls. but erm, rasmi and andrea never drink, which leaves biling .. wah, damn on seh.. haha.. i took a sip of two and my face went red.. That's it, i can't drink alcohol.. =( it was only 10%. hehehe, can you imagine me on my wedding and everyone wants me to have a toast with them? i'll die of over drinking of alcohol.. arh, or perhaps to save me from all these embrassment, i'll get a wife who can drink!!! than she can drink up all those wine for me..

After that we went to play pool, rasmi , han loon , andrea and jerryboy had to go. The rest went over to play POOL!! haha, i was surprised that biling tagged along too. She knows how to play le!! hahaha, wah. i was impressed by her, hmm. someone that plays the eletric guiter and also the pool. phew.. she blows me away.. haha.

We ended our game at 11.30pm and went home. I wanted to see who got home first. haha, in the end she had her parents coming to fetch her, argh!!! so it's not fair that we compete. haha, but it was fun, REALLY..

Posted by dear benji at 1:34 PM

Thursday, September 07, 2006

My first national competition

whahaha. i've got 8th place in intervarsity and 9thplace in the open. Not too good, i know i can do better than that. Geez, i saw a movie yesterday on channal5, wah.. i'm damn moved by that.. "A rumours of angels", it feature the story of a boy who's mom died and he still grieves over it after any years. Mom died in an car crash, and boy was holding mom as she dies. Than one day he broke a old lady's fence and she says ard the neighbourhood. She comes and confront the boy, wants the boy to repair the fence. Boy was scared and of course gave in to the request to repair it. After that, boy and old lady became good frens, old lady had a son who died in the war.old lady taught boy morse code which she uses to communicate with her dead son. boy believes and kept it in his heart.
Old lady helped him to get over the death of his mom by bringing him to the road where mom crashed.. old women taught him to go with the music ; appreciate nature..
old lady died, but taught him that death is not to be grieved. The old women communicate to the boy after she died with morse code from afar lighthouse.. damn touching.. hell of a good movie..

Posted by dear benji at 2:43 PM

Saturday, September 02, 2006

NOT A GOOD DAY!!!

Today is certainly not the day for me, geez.. Competition is just tomorrow and i am feeling tension everywhere my body.. When i click the arrow into my string, i shiver slightly as such that i have to aim hard to the sting before it clicks.

I had a hair cut yesterday, and i think it look "OK". Just like how i was back in secondary 4. I feel young having that hair style. i felt that this hair instantly takes of 2years of my age and also half the weight of my hair.

Birthday wasn't really good ahh.. I didn't enjoy 1sept . I went for a hair cut, decided to pamper myself at a salon since it was my birthday. It felt great, i loved the hair wash, it was uhhh.. HEAVENLY!!! But that guy cut my hair a bit too short . After which i went over to flaming arrows, but shit.. i had to first collect the club t shirts at bukit timah plaza main enterance. The person was suppose to be here at 4.30pm but darn.. he was late - 5.05pm. What the FUCK! he's a business man and fancy coming so late.. bloodly hell.. i was so so pissed off. In the end i don't have time to train, i brought my bow but never shoot. i still had to bring 1/4 of the shirts to captain's meeting at bedok.. wah, far sia.. I spilt the load of the shirts to 4 person. if not i confirm cannot carry de arh.. so heavy...

After that i went to captian's meeting. Was a small group , not what i expected... But all went well. After that i accompanied hanwei to see doctor, than we went makan.. wah, the food damn nice, it's called butter pork ribs.. i can taste butter, condensed milk, and also curry leaves..

I found out today that my dad was actually waiting for me at home yesterday to celebrate my birthday.. haiz, why couldn't he call to tell me or when he sees me in the morning? I felt a bit heartache when he said that he was waiting at home.. I felt that i've been a bastard not going home early. haiz...

voila..