Thursday, May 31, 2007

In times like this, i would like to see myself as a very lonely person, i dun feel like talking to people, nor do i feel like going out. I just wanna stay at home and mug.

I am having a pounding headache and i feel that my head is really heavy. I think i am carrying some baggages, just like old times again. I will have to drop those soon before i die of exhustion.

I went to the PC show today and wah.. there were so many pretty girls! haha, the models , the promoters. Printers going as low as $89, 80GB hard disk going as low as $89 too. I laid my eyes on the SEA gate 80GB hard disk that is going at $119. I am going to visit PC show again on the last day, i am sure that prices will drop on sunday ^^

Posted by dear benji at 9:28 PM

Common test are around the corner, and i hate this period of time. I always have to rush here and there for the study groups and most of the time, they are so damn freaking far.

Anyway, i am listening to redwan ali's song now, would you be there. I love this song, it holds a special meaning to me. I'm slacking around for the time being, till 11.30 when u need to go and bathe and meet them at AMK hub at 1pm. That is so damn far, and i stay at jurong area. Ugh...

I have nice old memories coming back ^^ , sweet memories that is. I love the times i had to go all out for her. I think that was silly, but i always rationalise love to be a very silly thing. Hmm.. Silly me, silly ben. sheesh...

I can't believe it, i was talking to alexis late night and she wanted to have her tongue pierced. Damn, that is the last thing anyone would wanna do, she even showed me a vid on youtube and the process was just a mere 5min, poke and there you go-Done. I mean, ouch!! That person said that didn't hurt at all, i say that is BULLSHIT. LOL..

Sometimes , i think about the world, what will happen in a few centuries , when i am already old and i see my grand children, will the earth be still the same? Will the heat level rise? will we die killing one another? There are so many uncertainties, but for now,i wanna make full use of what i have, i am gonna enjoy. Been a long time since i've stopped and look around. Looking around at the nature, looking at ppl ard us- walking aimlessly at times.

alright, i'm gonna bathe and go for study group at amk hub now.

Posted by dear benji at 10:59 AM

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

" Work as if you don't need money,

Love as if you've never been hurt,

Dance, as if nobody can see you,

Sing, as if no one can hear,

Live, as if the Earth was a heaven."

Posted by dear benji at 10:37 PM

I have an impulsive thought to go get a tattoo =)

I want one on my arms though. I think it would be very exciting ^^

Posted by dear benji at 9:13 PM

Archery is becoming a hassle to me, i hate doing admin jobs.. Again, i wanna repeat what i said, I HATE DOING ADMIN JOBS. Hopefully president gets the point and just let me have a piece of mind when i am shooting.

I feel that i am stuck somewhere , i can't break through the current stage that i am in. I need more time with myself, i feel that it is the fingetab that is the crux to the problem, it is making me damn uncomfortable to shoot. I can't concentrate shooting with my chin have to take pain every time i release an arrow. I have low tolerance for pain, let alone the sight of blood is enough to kill me.

I've seen some really potential juniors , they are picking up real fast. I almost forgot, i need to sell of my wooden bow at $100, it is a used set (used by me) and it comes with arrows too. If anyone is interested, you can tag me , or sms me if you have my number .

And one more thing i wanna rant about before i post this blog. I am lagging behind in my studies, i have no idea how it happened, i think it was the time spent on archery and lesser time with my studies. sigh, i wanna go back on track. I need to work damn fucking hard. UGH.. sickening guys.

Posted by dear benji at 8:25 PM

Chemistry

I dunno if it was appropriate to give things to her so fast. The idea just came and "wack" i went to do it, it was a long time since i did such impulsive stuff. I felt like a small kid again, the secondary boy that sort of thing where you go give something to the girl you're interested in. But nevertheless, i felt great doing things on impulse, i feel that as i grew older, i am beginning to lose the ability to do things on impulse. I would like to assume that doing things on impulse is equal to creativity. I lost that along the way as i was growing up; afraid that the people around me judge me the way i do things.

I was once told by an adult when i was young that purple and brown don't go well together, "why do you have to choose that colour". With that, i was a little disappointed, i didn't expect that reaction. Instead, i would like something with, "WOW, that's a job well done, you've done a great job, keep it up ". I swear that when i grow up, i am gonna treat my children the way i wanted myself to be treated. Of course not extreme pampering luh.

I wonder if the opposite felt the same way as i do, of course that would be very ideal but looking at the situation i do not get the vibes that it is working out. Something is missing, something exciting is really missing. Tsk tsk.. (2mins) I pondered on what was missing and one word came clear in my mind- Chemistry. That is missing; the gist of the courtship is missing. I wonder how do i get it to work? Perhaps time will do the job for us, so i am going to hang on longer to see what happens =) ahhem, i need feedbacks =P not from the readers, but from her.

Posted by dear benji at 8:07 PM

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Combine these 2 and it becomes a wonderful present.

Posted by dear benji at 3:14 PM

Monday, May 28, 2007

i manage to find a new version with full lyrics =)

Posted by dear benji at 1:36 PM

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Redwan Ali - Would You Be There

If i were blue,
would you be there for me
and whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me,
let me hold you tight
and say you love me one more time.
If i feel good,
Would you slow dance with me
and touch my lips with tender loving care.
Would you die for me
Would you run with me
and never look back.

Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say u'll always be the one,to take my breath away
Would you be there..

Posted by dear benji at 9:07 PM

Friday, May 18, 2007

Beautiful song here, you should really listen to the lyrics.
To me, it hit a certain core.

LISTEN

Posted by dear benji at 1:44 PM

darn, i am feeling sick today. Flu, running nose and a pounding headache is all i got. URghh.. Anyway, we had this damn meeting yesterday, taking 3hrs of my time. I think the president should start being more organised.

Lionel has officially told me that he quited archery yesterday, i have no idea why. Perhaps the lack of goals has made us like that. Seriously, i don't even know why i am in archery anymore, i want to shoot, i really like to shoot. I ask myself why i am in the archery club, the only reason i can find is for me to improve as an archer and go as far as i can, be it SEA games or a regional game. I need stepping stones, right now i can't see anything, my fore sight has been blurred and all i can see it just light that has been clouded by prejudice and judgement.

Ugh, i will somehow find my way out of this alley that's clouded with smoke. Now the concern is ppl are starting to quit, i do not understand the crux of the problem, is it the way the club is handled? Or the way generally the ppl's attitide in the club. I hope to start the club anew with the new upcoming batch of ppl. I want them to stay and i want them to feel that this club is "simply amazing".

damn, hanwei wasn't at all tackful that day, he made me embrassed. shit.. baka.

Posted by dear benji at 12:48 PM

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Here's something that i find meaningful ^^

AMEN

that is the word which makes peace when war arises.

Posted by dear benji at 11:15 PM

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

uhhh.. somehow there was some problems with blogger.com. ugh, damn, anyway. i'm here trying out - to see if i ccan post. looks like it can now.

I returned my triple 800 back to coach, phew.. heng arh.. now i am going for soma nano-xr 730. I FEEL THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN IMPROVING. somehow, somewhat.. i've become stagnant.

ook, i got to go, still eating lunch and lesson's at 1pm. darn.. i am gonna be late.

Posted by dear benji at 12:55 PM

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Some archery pictures =) that were taken on saturaday when the Basic Archery Course were taking place. Big group. damn big, one of the biggest i've ever seen.

Posted by dear benji at 3:53 PM

Sunday, May 06, 2007

haha, these are the crazy stuff i do. Shit! i can't imagine myself going out in that make-up. Thanks god, i am not a girl =)

Posted by dear benji at 10:53 PM

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Posted by dear benji at 10:07 PM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

somehow , i could always find comfort in watching 'Forrest Gumps'; one hell of a good show =) Another show is from disney- ' paying it forward'; this movie is not a cartoon, but a fantasic show featuring a series of events that was made possiable by a young boy. And his concept is - Paying It Forward.

I woke up in the morning today and i felt reluctant to go to school, one reason was that i had a late night out yesterday the other i simply just dun feel like going to Mr Ong's tutorial classes.

Spiderman 3 was awesome, just as i expected from my favorite moive of all times. I hope the will have more coming. I dun want to spoil the movie by telling you guys what happened to spiderman. GO WATCH IT.

SHIT, i forgot abt blogging the ARchery blog. darn, for archers, just a reminder, physical training on thursday.

Posted by dear benji at 10:18 AM

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

why does she have to change?

Anyway, here are some random pictures

Just that pple change, and the dynamics of a friendship will change from time to time.

I've been reflecting and pondering on what excatly does this means. Pple do change, but why do they change? In what contacts do you keep an old friend and in what contacts do you "throw" them away? Certainly i feel hurt when i saw this, what can i do.. Just let it go. Like that gust of wind that went pass me just now; it is impossible to get that ideal friend back again.

There is the recent selection for the SEA games Junior, that is for 18 and below of this year. I am as of today 19, i can't participate in this, darn. Silie manage to get in because he is one year younger and i am green with envy. sigh, nvm, will try again for the one coming in 3 yrs time.
And there was another selection for the SEA games OPEN, this means that anyone of any age can participate in this, only 4 will be selected into the team. In this team, AAS; archery association of singapore will than sponser the flight to the country and the training cost. On top of that you get a dozen of X-10 arrows, which are the best arrows available in the market so far.

Posted by dear benji at 3:41 PM

i just find it very fucked up to keep reformatting my windows drivers and after that , liling goes to certain fucked up kinds of websites and screw it up .

Now here are my lastest problems, that is my symantec anti virus is not working anymore, i can't scan a single shit. So if you were to read this, stop going into funny websites. fucked up.. damn fucked up.