Saturday, March 07, 2009

Exams are over for almost a week now and graduation in a month's time. The much anticipated end is somewhat not what i expected it to be like. I thought i would be really happy and go on with life, but somehow i feel my real self got stuck in the midst of all those hectic life.

I have all the time in the world now- to run, to shoot, to cycle , to work, to find my grandfather, to make up the lost time with auntie jane, to play the games i always want to, to just sit down and watch life pass by. The big BUT comes up. BUT i am not happy. I feel my life sipping away as though i do not have a plan to do the next.

I am really in a loss. No plans for job, no plans to shoot well , no resolve to do anything cept yet. Its really scary as those words of my senior who once told me that i should study hard and not let anything come into the way. My GPA isnt high, its below average. And it looks impossible for me to go into the university. My choices is to go sign on army as engineer, or find a engineering company willing to take me in as an apperctice.

I know life is tough and we all need to make decisions ; important decisions many times in our life which affects the way we grow and future. Its really scary to see how one wrong step can lead a domino effect to self destruction.

I will need to find myself in midst of all the worries.

Posted by dear benji at 5:46 PM