Thursday, August 29, 2013


Posted by dear benji at 12:21 AM

I am so dead....
Feeling so urghhh..
I know i cant rush it

the working world is funny.
One exposed , the little girl can transform and you'd never know what happened.

Selfish i am.
but i couldnt care less.

So similar .

I want to know more about her.
I wish to be the guy she would come to.

I need to know the character.
And if she could be the mother of my child.

Looks at god.
"God please..... let it happen"

Posted by dear benji at 12:18 AM


I have been thinking ...

About how fragile life is.

About why mom has to die to young and so early .

About why i needed to stay at Boys Town.

About why i decided to sign on.

So much thoughts. Its prolly why i twirl my hair too. When i twirl it , i feel comfortable but i thoughts goes in circle.

Posted by dear benji at 12:08 AM

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


I often wonder to myself, "is this the one ? " . 

But no matter how many times i ask myself , i dont seem to have the answer. 

I notice i tend to over impress , which is always the downfall of me. They would be impress initially but later would lose the interest. It puzzles me . Its the same pattern over and over again, but those girls whom i gave the least attention would always be "back" . Are women like that? 

My recent encounters with Daiyi is the same . I think it would take many cycles before i break it. I really tend to over impress too much. Or either that , i gave too much attention and seemed as a pest. Same goes for Risela before . ugh, killing me softly. I doubt i would stand a chance with DY especially after i told her niece that i was her bf and caused her a big hoo haa back in China. She's gonna come back again soon on the October. Lets just  hope it would turn out well. She's cute isnt she ?  i like is so typical round face bubbly girls with a character. 

Posted by dear benji at 12:18 AM

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Met a girl..
Will she be the one ?
Time will tell.

Posted by dear benji at 9:28 AM

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


I am very proud of this picture. I like the flash on that fellow. That fellow is my sister's friend. It looks good. Light could have been softer on the face with a box. Will need more experimenting on this. I love the endless possibilities of photography.

Posted by dear benji at 8:44 AM

Sis Chalet

My sister friend is so cute..
Anw, the chalet went well, as predicted everyone was dead tired on the 3rd day. I wished we had more time, because i really wanted to bring my sister to Ubin. She hasn't been there before and it is an awesome sight.

Have been thinking hard about selling my Nomad off.. I have decided to do it this coming week. There is a potential buyer on the list but i am so afraid. All this life i have been on this Nomad and it has been the best bike i have ever owned. I even told myself that i would ride this bike till old. But it seems like the time has come for it to have a better owner that will take great care of it. I am planning to use the money for a new camera / lens.

Am thinking of gambling full time with the cash on soccer too. I am so afraid. Why go through that ?

Posted by dear benji at 8:38 AM

DONT sign on!

SO many event has happened.
I have also came a long way , would i be giving up only at the last moments ?

I have so much woes , i need cash for here and there. So many hobbies to sustain . I wonder sometimes why i have so many hobbies. Is it to fill the emptiness inside me. I really wonder.

My5d2 is damaged, i was quoted 500 dollars for the repair . Changing of the body , the magnesium body.. OMG, i initially thought it would cost only about 200 dollars. Who in the world would have known it cost so much.. I have to constantly remind myself to be careful . I always damage things. ):

After 3 years in the force, i realized i don't like it. I don't dare to express it thinking that i would cause a chain reaction of loss in opportunity. You tell some old birds in the force that you don't like working there ? Thats the same as insulting what they have been doing for the past years. But the thing is that they don't understand that things change and with time , everything change. People like us don't really care much about defending singapore as a first priority. We want CASH and job fulfillment. The higher ups in the Airforce isn't really encouraging us to study. They won't give a damn even if u wish to . To them, they like you to be in diploma, they want you to stay in the force for as long as you can.. Squeezing every ounce of juice out from you.

Take example for today, i have lesson at SIM, but i bloody hell can't go . WTF. Damn sian, moreover its a lab day. I want to quit the force so badly. What can i do after i leave the force? I wonder sometimes to myself. I have to carve another path . But at least, i won't be taking the path that has already been taken. I wish to be different.

Posted by dear benji at 8:23 AM

Monday, September 19, 2011

Kit flying , whos in it ?

Anyone into kite flying ?

I went to marina barrage last month with Midori , Cliff and SJ. We were there taking photographs and then i saw this lovely kite. It was huge and it was really beautiful in the sky. I was hoping to put one of this kite up myself . I went over to speak with the owner of the kite and he mentioned that it cost 200 dollars for a lifter . I then found out that that rainbow colored kit is a lifter to put other small kites to it and create lift.

I need some advise to get a kite. Anyone ?

Posted by dear benji at 1:25 PM

Colour my Bike - YELLOW!!!

Work has been great , nothing much to rant about cept for my bicycle. I wanna give it a new coat of color and the only place i can do that is at Rebound centre. Quite expensive if you were to ask me . The last Lionel Ho did, it costed him $500 dollars. That is a pretty huge sum just for a color change if you ask me.
Well, i saw azhar at rodalink yesterday and he mentioned that i could get it done at malaysia for half the price. 500 RM !! The finish will be spray painted instead of the usually powder coating. I am still considering this, malaysia's side does not strip my bike down.
I sent the bike out to Kenny Foo last week for servicing , he did a great job on the fork, i really love the feel of it now.. its very sensitive to bumps now. Hopefully when i go Ketam , i can now complete the huge rock where i last fell down and scratch my knees.

Tml is the day i am looking forward to , i am going on an excursion with Adrian and see how he sets up his gears for a photoshoot with bikes. I heard Audrey is going to be the model. The name Audrey holds a dear place in my heart. I miss her. ):

Posted by dear benji at 1:11 PM

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I woke up feeling rather wasted. i did not go and drink. I am not the sort that enjoys the company of alcohols , i simply love to use it instead. ahhem. Anyway, read in between the lines and you'd understand .

Truth is , i went fishing with ah lai's cousin, he is a nice chap. I like talking to him, but like some other people i know, he always like to have the winning end in terms of argument or point of view. I dont find that irritating , just amusing why some people are so adamant about views.

yesterday is really zero fighter man, no bite cept for catfishes. I dont take catfish as a real fish. I dont like it at all. Many people say that once a cat fish bites your hook/bait, you gotta change the rig because catfish has a certan slim and other fishes wont like it. how true that is , i wonder.

Anyway , back to my first comment on me feeling wasted.. I fished the entire night , and into the morning and i didnt get anything, on top of that , i wasted time , and energy . I also have to take into consideration about transport in the morning for sometimes when i cant take it , i take a cab back home from Bedok and the trip itself will cost about $22 dollars.

Let me do some calculations:

Live prawns: 12
Dead Prawns: 3
Water : 1.15
Food : 6.50
If Edwin (lai's cousin) didnt give me a ride down : Taxi 22
Taxi back home : 22

Rough total spent for a 1 day fishing expedition : $66.65
And totals hours spent : 7 hours.

Tell me am i wasting my time or should i plan it in such a way where i go when the tide is upcoming and leave when the tide is gone ?

When i was younger i am sure i wouldnt have gone into fishing , it is clearly a money sucking sport/game what ever u call it. I was so much more objective driven when i was in poly days . What happened to that me ? ):

Remember abt me wanting to get the bike license ? Till now i've only went for 1 lesson . And the CAAS paper ? I failed the first one and i didnt dare to retake . Also the bomb stand for GSE, i also was so enthu in the first place and now, it is nowhere . I need to put my life in place and put things right.

First thing i can do is to pack . Start packing my stuff - fishing, biking, archery. I have so many archery stuff which i dont even do it now. Its been left in a corner to collect dust. I feel so sad to see it there. Time to give/sell it away. Looking at how much i've spent into the sport, i feel a little heartache parting with it. sigh... but what have to go has to.

Posted by dear benji at 9:45 PM

Friday, July 01, 2011

reinventing the blog skin.

Posted by dear benji at 2:18 AM

My mouth still hurts ): i wanna get well soon and i want so much for that hole to heal up. I cant eat anything hard still ): darn, it made me realised how important is eating and having a healthy set of teeth.

It was my first time at 1 Aviation Drive. I keep spelling 'Aviation' wrongly as a result i was almost late for the exam because the taxi driver couldnt find the place where i wanted to go. It was quite AFTC, where they have computer booths and you sit in them taking ur exams. Between u and the other people, its a layer of translucent plastic. You cant quite make up how the person look, or how the screen look . Air-conditioned place and it is very comfortable.

Results for M08 were out and it was posted that i failed. I remembered clearly that it was a 75% pass. There was 20 qns and i had 4 wrong. Do the maths - how can i be lower then your 75% mark ? ): I emailed them, cant wait for their replies.

This is an overdue picture which i was supposed to post up a few weeks back. i went to hunt some good lens with Wymen and he got the Tamron 2.8 18-50mm. It was a good lens, he managed to get a 2nd one.

Did some test shots on his Nikon D7000 and it was pretty good. I love the quite shutter sound. makes me a lot more stealthier. I like Nikon's built in HDR. ): It is a function that i would really like to have.

Posted by dear benji at 12:44 AM